Is your body crying out for tenderness?

Recently, and quite unexpectedly something new landed for me when exploring my body.

I’ve been doing some training in Internal Family Systems - a therapeutic model that sees individual’s psyche as made up of different parts. Some are protectors, others carry wounds. They interact with each other and with a core self. Your inner child is one example. These parts often cause us difficulty, but when can access them and engage in dialogue, we can integrate them back into ourselves.

In the training, I learned that some of these protector parts can manifest as somatic symptoms. They do this to keep us safe.

I’ve lived with migraines for years, so I became curious. Could there be a link? I opened the dialogue and traced the pain back to a voice in my right shoulder. But instead of trying to talk that part into releasing, I chose something else. I decided to befriend it. To offer it kindness and care.

And then, while gently stroking my shoulder, I suddenly felt it! My body had been crying out for tenderness!

The migraines, the tiredness, even the soft curves of my belly that I sometimes look at with unkindness. They were all protecting me. My whole body was working overtime to keep me safe. From the outside world, from the overwhelm, even from myself.

I felt compassion mixed with grief. A loving kindness I never imagined I would feel for it.

Until that moment, I thought of befriending the body as listening to sensations and intuitions. I saw it as a source of insight and wisdom. I wanted to honour its voice, yet deep down I was still asking it to serve me.

What if my body has already done enough? What if it has been carrying me through everything, holding me up, keeping me safe? How much more can I ask of it?

Maybe it’s time I give something back!

Over the next few months, I want to focus on befriending my body with real kindness. Writing this is a small step toward that intention. A way to stay accountable.

I am curious to see what unfolds. What other layers I can soften and release. We all heard that trauma lives in the body. But what if there is more? What if our bodies also carry the deep structures of the psyche?

The beliefs we internalise from the world around us. From patriarchy. From capitalism. From all the pressure to achieve, prove, perfect, and produce.

The more healing I do, the more I see this are not parts of me. I often regulate just enough to keep functioning. But maybe my body deserves more than that.

Affection, softness, gentle touch. Body loves to be touched in a kind way. Maybe it deserves deep love and care.

I’m curious to explore. This is where my embodiment journey is taking me and I want to follow.

I’d love to hear what has been coming up for you.

Sending love to you and your body,

Aleksandra x